Fantz in Weed’s Pants: Remember those fast times at 4/20 high?
With 4/20 on the horizon, does anybody still care?
It’s about as dated at Lima Bean Respect Day. No disrespect, baby butterbeans, but cannabis curled about the atmosphere, draped in diamonds and a puff of bouge, and straight up claimed April 20.
That prima donna, although luscious in its flower and sublime in its swank, cannabis’ holiday is kind of so 10 years ago.
Remember us, back then in our pot leaf leggings/meggings, chillin’ on the quad, lit like misfits, rolling around in fish fertilizer with a brick of dirt weed in our back pockets? We were so cool and wrinkle-free.
Nowadays when 4/20 rolls around, the Norlin Quad parties like it’s at a Kentucky Bluegrass orgy. (“I can breathe,” the blades of grass scream in repose. “Nobody’s on my face. Let’s seed like it’s 1989.”)
From the 1990s to its more recent heyday the last decade, the holiday would cram up to 15,000 people on the CU campus so that celebrants could collectively puff it up at 4:20 p.m. and exhale a large cloud of kusy tushy smoke stacks.
CU tried to get a grapple on the chaos with various tactics over the years — from issuing tickets and heavy police presence to dousing the grounds with emulsified fish guts in the form of smelly fish fertilizer to deter the gathering — the attempts often failed.
Leaders inadvertently won, though, in 2014 when rec weed became legal. The CU staff likely breathed such a hard sigh of relief that 20 years of second-hand smoke eked out of their lungs. Nobody cared about the gathering anymore.
We were just like stupid Catholic school kids. Oh, it’s not illegal anymore? Fuck that.
The event seemed to expunge itself. And 4/20 may not be far behind, because every day can be 4/20. Except for those who actually wear the pot leaf leggings/meggings. The bros/bras get all baked in their yards on 4/20 and scream, “Fuck yeah, 4/20!” to the neighborhood toddlers.
So what do we do for 4/20 this year? It’s not like we’ve already been sitting on our asses, hotboxing our living rooms for a full calendar year. (I’ll speak for all of us.) Besides celebrating this random Tuesday by washing down a big fat Kush BLT with some gin n juice at Cheba Hut or pushing down a large cheese pie from Cosmo’s with a vat of spicy ranch, here are a couple options:
• Head to Terrapin Care Station at 5370 Manhattan Circle or 1795 Folsom St. in Boulder to win the “Four Twentiest” of prizes — free weed for a year. The local shop will also be holding numerous promotions, as will most other dispensaries in town, so check the shops and save a dime(bag) or two.
• Some cannabis brands are collaborating with local food trucks to offer a culinary pairing to your high. If you buy any products from Veritas Fine Cannabis, Olio and Cookies at Eclipse Cannabis Company, 933 Alpine Ave., Boulder, on 4/20, you’ll nab a voucher for a free meal from Snowy Churro Food Truck, which will be at the dispensary at 11 a.m.
• Green Solution in neighboring Longmont is also having a contest for participants to win weed for a year. Check out details at the store at 206 S. Main St., Longmont, which will also offer 15% off online orders on the buzzy holiday.
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